Week 6 Story: Theo and the Princess (REVISED)
Theo
When Hero became king of Ayodhya everything changed. I live just outside the city, and I was standing outside my family’s home when I felt the once beautiful scenery around me change, the air felt thicker like I was being covered in darkness. No one in the city seemed to notice the change but I wasn’t fooled, I knew King Hero had something to do with the change but I felt helpless, unable to do anything to save what others couldn't see. What could a young, poor merchant’s son do to fix what felt like a curse put on an entire city?
Pearl
My Father was always overprotective of me but his overprotectiveness hit an all-time high recently. I used to be able to roam the castle freely when my father worked here as an apprentice, but when he became king, which was a shock to everyone, he shut me away in my room to never wander again. It seemed like all his glory appeared out of thin air, and his strictness towards me came with it.
Theo
I couldn't take it anymore. No one could see what I saw. Everyone acted as though everything was perfect, that an apprentice of no royal blood suddenly becoming king wasn't strange at all. I needed answers, so went searching for them. Once night had fallen, I crept over the castle walls and snuck inside. I slowly made my way through the corridors, sneaking around every corner, careful to check for guards as I did. I was walking down a tight hallway when I suddenly heard voices coming towards me. I dove into the closest hiding spot I could find, a small nook with a shadow just big enough to conceal me, and I waited. As the voices became clearer, I realized it was King Hero and another man. I buried myself deeper into the shadows.
“Does she know?” King Hero whispered, his voice shaking slightly.
Pearl
My Father was always overprotective of me but his overprotectiveness hit an all-time high recently. I used to be able to roam the castle freely when my father worked here as an apprentice, but when he became king, which was a shock to everyone, he shut me away in my room to never wander again. It seemed like all his glory appeared out of thin air, and his strictness towards me came with it.
Theo
I couldn't take it anymore. No one could see what I saw. Everyone acted as though everything was perfect, that an apprentice of no royal blood suddenly becoming king wasn't strange at all. I needed answers, so went searching for them. Once night had fallen, I crept over the castle walls and snuck inside. I slowly made my way through the corridors, sneaking around every corner, careful to check for guards as I did. I was walking down a tight hallway when I suddenly heard voices coming towards me. I dove into the closest hiding spot I could find, a small nook with a shadow just big enough to conceal me, and I waited. As the voices became clearer, I realized it was King Hero and another man. I buried myself deeper into the shadows.
“Does she know?” King Hero whispered, his voice shaking slightly.
"No your grace, no one should know of the magic we've cast. Pearl is still the anchor to the spell and it's still holding firm so the glamour is still fully intact. She shouldn't be suspicious at all."
“And the people are still oblivious? They’re unable to see the change in the kingdom? The darkness it's caused? I put everything on the line to become king, even killing my predecessor so that we could live better lives."
“There should be nothing to worry about your grace. Only someone that already saw the world differently would suspect anything, and even then what could they do? As long as Pearl remains inside the walls of the kingdom, the spell will be linked to her and the glamour will hold.” The two men walked past my hiding place and I could see it was the castle's sorcerer speaking with the king. “But she must remain hidden. If she walks out of the kingdom walls, the glamour will dissolve and everything will return to how it was.”
The two men walked around the corner causing their voices to fade out. They were using the princess as part of their master plan, but how could she be the anchor for everything going on? As I started to sneak my way back down the passage I replayed the conversation in my head trying to make sense of it. I suddenly stopped when I heard a voice coming from one of the doors. I slowly creaked open the door, only meaning to peek in when the door burst open and the beautiful princess stood in the doorway staring at me with wide eyes.
Pearl
I couldn’t believe it. Who was this boy trying to peak into my room? I admit it, he was very handsome with his dark curls and big blue eyes, but I still wanted answers.
“Who are you?” I demanded. The boy, who went from looking a bit dumbstruck to seemingly determined all within the same moment, grabbed my hand and started pulling me out the door.
“Hey, stop that, you can’t just — “
“You have to come with me and fix what your father has done. He's blinded the kingdom with evil and magic and he's used you to do it. We have to set things right."
I just stared at him. He sounded insane.
Theo
I explained everything to her. How I felt the change in the air when her father became king, how I was the only one who could see it, the conversation I overheard in the passage, how she was the one anchoring the spell to the kingdom, everything. I told her that if she followed me out of the city, everything would go back to how it was. I was worried that she wouldn’t believe me but her eyes lit up and she immediately agreed and followed me. Somehow I was able to sneak her and myself out if the castle and to the outskirts of the city without raising any kind of alarm. When we got to the gate that led to the outside of the kingdom, I stopped and told her that this should be it, that once we crossed through the gates things would go back to normal. She nodded her head, acknowledging what was about to happen. Before we stepped through the gates and restored the city, I asked Pearl one last question.
“Why did you follow me so willingly? You didn’t even question me or my story.”
Pearl smile and looked down before meeting my gaze. “I didn't want to be a prisoner in those walls anymore. I hadn't seen the sky in months before you came."
Taking each other's hands, we stepped through the gates to the city, restoring Ayodhya to its former glory, and ending King Hero's hold on the city. Pearl was free.
“And the people are still oblivious? They’re unable to see the change in the kingdom? The darkness it's caused? I put everything on the line to become king, even killing my predecessor so that we could live better lives."
“There should be nothing to worry about your grace. Only someone that already saw the world differently would suspect anything, and even then what could they do? As long as Pearl remains inside the walls of the kingdom, the spell will be linked to her and the glamour will hold.” The two men walked past my hiding place and I could see it was the castle's sorcerer speaking with the king. “But she must remain hidden. If she walks out of the kingdom walls, the glamour will dissolve and everything will return to how it was.”
The two men walked around the corner causing their voices to fade out. They were using the princess as part of their master plan, but how could she be the anchor for everything going on? As I started to sneak my way back down the passage I replayed the conversation in my head trying to make sense of it. I suddenly stopped when I heard a voice coming from one of the doors. I slowly creaked open the door, only meaning to peek in when the door burst open and the beautiful princess stood in the doorway staring at me with wide eyes.
Pearl
I couldn’t believe it. Who was this boy trying to peak into my room? I admit it, he was very handsome with his dark curls and big blue eyes, but I still wanted answers.
“Who are you?” I demanded. The boy, who went from looking a bit dumbstruck to seemingly determined all within the same moment, grabbed my hand and started pulling me out the door.
“Hey, stop that, you can’t just — “
“You have to come with me and fix what your father has done. He's blinded the kingdom with evil and magic and he's used you to do it. We have to set things right."
I just stared at him. He sounded insane.
Theo
I explained everything to her. How I felt the change in the air when her father became king, how I was the only one who could see it, the conversation I overheard in the passage, how she was the one anchoring the spell to the kingdom, everything. I told her that if she followed me out of the city, everything would go back to how it was. I was worried that she wouldn’t believe me but her eyes lit up and she immediately agreed and followed me. Somehow I was able to sneak her and myself out if the castle and to the outskirts of the city without raising any kind of alarm. When we got to the gate that led to the outside of the kingdom, I stopped and told her that this should be it, that once we crossed through the gates things would go back to normal. She nodded her head, acknowledging what was about to happen. Before we stepped through the gates and restored the city, I asked Pearl one last question.
“Why did you follow me so willingly? You didn’t even question me or my story.”
Pearl smile and looked down before meeting my gaze. “I didn't want to be a prisoner in those walls anymore. I hadn't seen the sky in months before you came."
Taking each other's hands, we stepped through the gates to the city, restoring Ayodhya to its former glory, and ending King Hero's hold on the city. Pearl was free.
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| Photo by: Linus Sandvide |
Author’s Notes
This is a blog story revision of my story from last week. The inspiration for my story came from The Girl and the Thief from the Twenty-Two Goblins unit. I decided to change the thief’s role in the story by creating the character of Theo in the thief’s place, who ends up smuggling the princess out of the city to break the king's spell. I also flipped the roles around by making Theo the merchant's son and Pearl the daughter of King Hero. I kept Pearl's character very close to the original but in this revision, I made things more straightforward by just making her the anchor for the spell her dad had to cast to gain power. Almost like the traditional sacrifice you'd see in other fantasy fiction novels. I didn't change a whole lot from my original writing of it, but I made it a little shorter and more straight to the point! I hope this one makes more sense and that you enjoy it! (:
Story Source: Twenty-Two Goblins, translation of the Sanskrit Vetālapañcaviṃśati by Arthur Ryder's
Hi Natalie,
ReplyDeleteI love what you did with this story! This one says revised, but I didn't read your first posting of it. The original story (from 22 goblins) was a bit depressing and confusing. There was a lot going on! So I liked all the changes you made. This one seems more like a cute little fairytale for kids. It was also fun that you changed the perspective of the story. I think it works really well here, we get to know more about the characters and what they are feeling.
Good job on this!
Hi Natalie!
ReplyDeleteI loved this story so much! I love how you wrote your story like a play, with the characters names underlined at the beginning to note who is speaking. Pearl's effect on the kingdom was very engaging to me. Her situation reminded me of Rapunzel from "Tangled". In both stories, an adult is imprisoning a child and keeping them away from the outside world, using them to get what they want. Honestly, King Hero's plan failing was kind of his own fault. If he's plotting an evil plan, he probably shouldn't talk so freely in the corridors. Great job!
Hello!
ReplyDeleteI like your retelling of the story. I haven't read the story, but I think you did a great job making it into your own story. I like how your story was short, and I liked how direct it was to the characters' think. I love giving the characters povs (points of view). This helps the reader connect and understand where the characters were coming from.